|it was the best of times, it was the end of times.
||[Dec. 22nd, 2012|07:57 am]
Yay! Another late night entry at the porn store. Tomorrow(today technically) is going to suck. After I leave work at 8am I have to go home and pack. Around noon I'm going to start my drive towards seattle. Probably get to the place I'm storing my car around 4pm. After that, I have to hop on a shuttle to the airport. Flight is scheduled to leave around 7pm, and I'm just hoping I manage to get on the plane without any problems. It's funny, but at this point I'm more anxious about driving and finding my flight. I was terrified of the flying aspect before, but that seems to be replaced by a different anxiety. I'm still nervous about the whole landing aspect. Mostly because of the snow and ice aspect. I've heard minnesota just got hit by a nasty blizzard recently too. That's not exactly filling my with confidence. I'm sure things will be fine. I know that the odds are in my favor and it's statistically the safest way to travel and blah blah blah. I think the majority of anxiety comes from the fact that it's my first time on a plane in so long. Also, it's my first time flying alone, so I really feel like I'm essentially feeling my way through a dark room. Even though I know there's probably nothing that I'll trip over, I'm still treading cautiously. In other news, I did something very out of character this morning. Around 7am yesterday a woman came into the store and started flirting with me. Not super attractive, but still kind cute with sort of a hipster look. She asked if she told me she was going to be at the bar down the street, and that I should come have a drink with her when I get off work. Normally my social awkwardness would have gotten the better of me, and I would have just gone straight home after work. Not this time. I manned up, and went and had a drink with her at 830 in the morning haha. Her name is Leanna. She was with her friend, but I've already forgot the friend's name. It was fun. We had some drinks, and got to know each other. It was fun, but eventually my social anxiety got the better of me and I made up and excuse about having to pick up a friend from work. It wasn't complete lie. I had made plans with a friend, but for some reason the pick up a friend excuse felt more appropriate. I still hung out for like an hour and a half. Not bad for someone who has trouble just making eye contact with strangers. I think this job has further skewed my social view of the world as well. Not that I've ever had a particularly positive outlook on the world, but I think working with perverts and crackheads has fucked me up even more. Now I'm not even polite to the bums when the ask me for change or a smoke. I'll look them dead in the eyes and tell them to fuck off. It's one of the few "social" interactions that I'm capable of doing easily with strangers. Probably not a good sign when it's easier for you to curse out a hobo than it is to say "hello" to a pretty girl. Oh well, hopefully finding a new job where I don't have to deal with pervs and crackheads will boost my morale. I think getting that drink with a stranger and her friend was a step in the right direction too. Gotta be positive about people. Some people at least. I'm not going to start being nice to the creeps who come into my work at 5am high on meth. Those people don't deserve any civility from me. Meh, I'm bored of updating right now, but I don't want to do any work. I guess I should at least look at the duty sheet to see if there's anything I'm scheduled to do... Nope! Nothing. I guess I could bitch about my coworkers. There's a girl named christy, I don't know if I've written about her before, so I'll make a long story into a short one. We started working around the same time, and at first I thought she was kinda cute. Over time I've gotten to know her, and have decided that she's a total bitch. Lately, she seems to think she's everyone's boss. Her and her little buddy alex(gay dude that she helped get a job here) have been bossing around the newer people, and even going as far as to leave condescending little note of instructions for things to do. Things they themselves should be doing, but they'd rather fuck around instead. I've told my actual boss about it, but since they're only doing it to the new people, and not to me he doesn't give a shit. He's a major douche himself, so you can just add that up to the list of reasons why I hate this place and need a new job. Just downed a dr pepper, and boy did I need it. Just thinking about all the stuff I have to do tomorrow is making me tired. By the time I finally land in minnesota I'm going to be so tired I'm just going to pass out the second I hit the bed... It actually got busy in the store for a second. Well, not busy. It was only one customer, but he was a needy customer. At least he wasn't a creeper. He spent 250 bucks on porno though. I wish I had that kind of cash to drop on something like porno. Not necessarily porno, but something equally pointless. I guess for me it would be video games. I wish I had 250 bucks to drop on video games. It's been so long since I had money to waste on anything really. I'm really really hoping I get a good haul of money this christmas. It's a bit of a catch 22 though. Even if I do get a lot of money, most of it will just go towards making up for the 5 days I take off of work. Ugh, yet another annoyance of this trip. To be honest, I'd be perfectly happy spending my christmas alone or at work. I'm not the type who really feels the need to travel and be with family. The only reason I'm going is because they're paying for it. Except for the part where I miss 5 days of work, that's money out of my pocket. It's kinda funny because in just a few weeks I'll qualify for a week of paid vacation. If I had the week of vacation time now I'd be fine and dandy because even if I didn't get any money from the parents at least I'd still be getting paid by the porn store during my trip. I feel like I'm coming off as really shallow and materialistic right now, so I need to make a point about something. I make $9.50 and hour at this POS job, and I only get about 30 hours a week. After taxes I take home about 500 bucks a paycheck. My total expenses for bills and such is about $825 a month(rent+car insurance+gas+internet+phone). That leaves me about $175 for food and whatever else I need for the month. So yeah, my monthly budget is pretty tight, and missing an entire week of work can be the difference between whether or not I can pay my rent on time. Need a new job!!! Arg, I feel like a broken record. I hate this place. I HATE IT! Soon as I get back in town I'm busting my ass to find a new job. No surrender! Thunder gun express!!! Nearly 7am now. Guess I should start organizing the store before the boss comes in.|
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